Reclaiming Your Main Character Energy

Many times, as mothers, sisters, friends, partners, professionals, or helpers, we can find ourselves so deeply connected to the needs of others that we lose sight of what drives us. We become so accustomed to pouring into everyone else that we forget to ask the important questions: Who is pouring into me? What supports my growth, my healing, and my development?

In January, I invited a group of amazing women into a special workshop. This was not a traditional vision board activity. Instead, the purpose was to help each woman tap into their passion, reflect on the first quarter of the year, and identify one meaningful area of change in their life.

They were asked to think about what they would shift, as well also to look deep. What had gotten in the way before? What barriers, excuses, fears, or responsibilities had kept them from accomplishing this goal in the past?

As the conversation unfolded, one theme began to emerge. Even though each woman was reflecting on something deeply personal, many of them were still focused on how their growth would affect the people around them. They wondered how prioritizing themselves would be received by those who depended on them at home, at work, in their families, and in their communities.

So I asked them to imagine something different.

I asked them to visualize a world where they were the main character of their own story, instead of always playing the supporting role in everyone else’s.

The reaction in the room was powerful.

It is important to mention that many of the women in that space carried titles such as first-born daughter, mother, partner, entrepreneur, professional, caregiver, and helper. These titles often come with pride, but they also come with responsibility, expectation, and, at times, stigma. For many women, especially within BIPOC communities, these roles are not just personal. They are cultural, generational, and deeply layered.

In order to have an honest conversation, we had to acknowledge those titles. We had to name the weight that comes with being the one people count on, the one who shows up, the one who figures it out, the one who holds everything together.

But then we began to ask: What would it look like to hold that same level of responsibility for ourselves?

We took time to imagine what life could look like if each woman chose to put themself first in just one area of their life. Not in every area. Not all at once. Just one intentional shift.

What would change?

How would it feel?

What would the goal be?

What would the intention become?

The women in the room shared openly their hopes, vulnerabilities, fears, and the emotional stress that comes with being in a supportive role in so many areas of life. They also began to name the desire for something different: more balance, more self-care, more clarity, more love, and more space to grow.

Each woman was tasked with using the next three months to create a game plan. The goal was not to change everything overnight. The goal was to make small, intentional moves that would shift their focus toward prioritizing self-care, self-love, and personal growth.

Instead of looking at the year as one overwhelming 12-month stretch, we talked about breaking it down into a plan. A plan that could be thoughtful, realistic, and sustainable. A plan that could actually stick.

Main character energy is not about being selfish. It is not about ignoring the people you love or walking away from your responsibilities. It is about remembering that your life also deserves your attention. Your dreams deserve structure. Your healing deserves time. Your needs deserve care.

You are allowed to be more than the person who supports everyone else.

You are allowed to take up space in your own story.

You are allowed to make intentional moves toward the life you want.

If this resonates with you and you are interested in exploring your own goals, ideas, or areas where you feel stagnant, I invite you to complete the interest form and schedule a consultation. Coaching may be the right fit, or maybe this is the moment to begin therapy.

At Led by Love, we believe meaningful change happens through connection, reflection, and intention. And most importantly, we believe that change starts with you.

Stay tuned for more…